Back in September I decided to take a hiatus from Facebook and detach from the overly connected web world. Sounds crazy to all of you Facebook addicts (you know who you are… actually you probably don’t) but I did so for a few reasons.
The main reason I unplugged myself from the matrix was to tame the productivity inhibitor so I could better focus on the completion of my overflowing ToDo list. This extended hierarchy of a list consisted of many things ranging from: Things I Need To Do, Things I Am In The Middle Of Doing, Things Ive Started To Do But Have Yet To Finish, Reasonable Things I Want To Do, Things I Dream About Doing…. yea the list goes on. I had quite a few important tasks to complete between September and December so cutting out anything unnecessary becomes a necessity. One of the main projects on my foremost list was a side project called TrendySlave which offers a web platform of daily inspiration There was a great deal to be done in order to meet the launch goal of November 11th. (11/11/11) The TrendySlave Story (ToBeWritten)
Another reason I felt the importance of a disconnect was because my intentional ignorance of the superficial connection social networks have began to wear on me. I have a bad habit of caring too much about people. It a difficult battle to fight when you are so passionate for directly connecting with people on any level and constantly learning the feeling is not mutual. For a while I was actively meeting new people and my “friend list” began expanding rapidly. My close friends would notice and ??? I have been constantly disappointed and let down by people who I considered friends. After some thought I came to the conclusion that 1. I probably expect too much out of people (My mother always said, “You know not everyone is going to pour their heart, mind, and soul into everything they do”). *I need to be more understanding of others limits and drive. 2. My definition of friend is much different then others. – I have now reclassified my Facebook friends as “surface friends”
The third reason for this break from my always “always up always on” mentality was to rebuild my discipline from distraction and addiction. Yes I will admit I had a slight addiction to Facebook and other social networks. Its that explosion of euphoria? to the brain like a drug when others interact with you esp if you are a social individual. to feel that fake love, even for an instant gives you a small high, which continues to build the more you attempt to fill the void. Although my addiction wasn’t unhealthy but it definitely wasn’t a positive thing and I wanted to regain full control. taking a step back recalibrating your focus and priorities while also evaluating the importance of how, what and when you share with whom.
A. Dealing with the Addiction:
distraction needs to be treated much like any other bad habit or addiction. lets say one of your vices is eating chocolate or candy. if you are trying to get yourself to stop eating it, cutting it out of your life isn’t always the best solution. instead you need to remove it from the places that allow you to easily fall back into the habit. IE keeping treats at your desk, stocking them in your cabinets at home, or even emergency packs in your glove compartment. Our need for instant satisfaction has many negative side effects, but life doesn’t have a warning label and unless you’re constant giving a self analysis’ you will miss these effects. if you take away the convenience of your habit it create more of a hassle to fulfill your urge whatever it may be. on top of that you have more time to think and evaluate your decision. You are more likely to let yourself slide when its easy.
having these control factors may help you in the short term to fight your battles but to win the war what you really need to do is build your self discipline. one of the greatest decreases in characteristics i have noticed in my generation and younger is discipline. you can be very motivated or determined but without discipline you will spread yourself thin because of your inability to say no. The best way to fight your addictions and build discipline is to organize certain aspects of your life. by taking a little extra time for preparations and creating mental notes you can get yourself on the right track.
Sure social networks can be a great day to help me people who otherwise would not be able to connect it also has brought a lot of negative aspects to society into our generation besides the fact that we are completely overtaken by multitasking ADHD generation and basically created for ourselves is also things like the fact that school reunions by three dying because everybody Artie knows what’s going on with each other isn’t really many new and exciting that rising brother you’re pretty much up to date on whatever station site share with world and that is unless you go through and specifically take out or unsubscribe channels come overloaded with information and
B. ReEvaluating Your Friends:
one of my biggest problems with social networks are their cold and impersonal qualities. Facebook has definitely changed the definition of “friends” in our vocabulary today. Don’t get me wrong they have done an excellent job bringing together people whether they are family, personal friends, work friends, or just acquaintances. You can get in touch with your classmates from high school, reconnect with long lost friends, keep updated with those who have moved far away, or allow relatives to see how you’ve been since the last family party.
The main problem is that there is still a large impersonal barrier. You may have a core group of authentic friends who will actually be there when you need help moving, hang out on weekends, or come to your partys/events. i feel that the rest of your friend-list drift into the category i like to classify as surface friends. the world can view your connection with them, they will like and comment on your photos or posts but these are not willing to do the things your real life friends do.
one example that agitates me are Facebook birthday wishes. if it were not for Facebook’s daily birthday reminder how many of you would actually remember your friends birthdays. I remember before Facebook began reminding people of birthdays I would sync my friends to my contacts and have their birthdays show in my personal calendar. this way i could send them a personal text wishing them an enjoyable birthday. even before Facebook i used to specifically ask my friends for their
And since we feel like we know what’s going on in each others lives because of these static newsfeeds we don’t have any desire to reconnect and in fact it disconnects us from the authentic social aspect of real life that is a necessity
You can tell a great deal about a person based on how frequently they post, the what their status updates say, the types of pictures they upload, the content they post, the pages they like, the games they play, apps they use. I think the majority of people don’t realize how much of an impact their life on the web has on their real life.
Judging, generalizing, stereotyping are all things that we do naturally; Its built into our system. Although they are often frowned upon they are very essential to our lives. If you stop and think about it for a second, why are we so quick to judge or place people into these generalized containers? It is a combination of laziness and our subliminal selfish opinion. You see if you take out the stereotyping of races, out of peoples lifestyles, geographical location and any of the other negative reason you’ll begin to see that we initially would do so to make sense of situation to help make a quick and intuitive decision. By definition to Judge is to make a decision based on the information you know
Let me explain: Say you have
their subconscious judges others based on their virtual view of a makes generalizations, we have become lazy and automatically draw a conclusion on a person or place without ever getting to know the truth.
I once used to care an unhealthy amount about what others thought of me. My whole life I always wanted to be perfect esp in others eyes…..ETC…. Now caring about how others view or feel about you is important if you properly balance it. I often have friends complain to me about their drama or that this person said this to so and so….ETC… and I tell them not to get worked up over what someone may say about you. The world is full of lies and if someone is going to believe a false statement about you without getting to know you then they are worth having as a friend in the first place. If you live your life the best you can and hold your standards high any lie about you will only be proven wrong in time. People will see the real you as long as your not living a lie.
C. Discipline and Self Control:
fighting the distraction is only half the battle. you must also learn to fight the need for this social popularity and the constant desire to know what is going on with everyone.
but when you see a decrease in productivity and have a hard time focusing, the cons of connection begin to outweigh the pros. I’m sure plenty of people are aware of these issues Many people are naive of the negative effects and like many addictions the first step is acknowledging a problem. Now Im sure a great deal of people see these issues but being conscious of it is only a fraction of the battle.
The first week I unplugged from the Matrix I found myself wanting to jump on and see what I’m missing and try to continue filling the void of (connection) Ive created for myself. It wasn’t too hard to restrain myself as I had easily replaced my time with other things.
I had many reasons for my hiatus from Facebook and unlike many who leave temp due to drama, I simply wanted to focus on important projects I had inline. If you ever decide to take the step back – don’t be surprised if no one notices. Some people notice right away – you close friends, your like buddies, and stalkers (which I thoroughly endorse :P) but even the friends who you interact with regularly will often not notice until a month or so later. Facebook allows us to cowardly de-friend people without anyone ever knowing. If you don’t want to share a formally superficial virtual relationship with me then don’t request my friendship or accept mine in the first place.
Depending on your lifestyle/industry/interests involvement in social media will differ. If you are in any industry dealing with communication advertising or really any modern business you need to have some form of web presence and be aware of how you are seen on the Internet. Privacy is a major concern and can be controlled and maintained if you pay attention to it.
Being careful what you say and how deeply outsiders can see into your life can make or break your job. Depending on your company’s policies and or (strictness – values) what you say on the web impacts various aspects of your life. A good friend of mine lost her job because of her Facebook information. It wasn’t even anything she said but rather a nude photo of her appeared on a website with a screenshot of her Facebook profile. At the top of her profile has her name and where she works.
The explosion of social networks can be very overwhelming as well. With the major networks booming and the ease of startups and availability of worldwide communication at insane speeds it’s no wonder there’s a new social site every week.
noticing an increasing amount of reliance people have had on their social connection and popularity.
Being connected 24/7 has a deceiving allure and before you even have a chance to realize, you are already in the deep end.
Society has done a great job of
Since the evolution social network continually grown dependent on their service and addicted to the sensation of being connected
What about class reunions they’re dying because we don’t feel we have a need to check up or see what’s new with other people because where do you know what’s going on with everyone since you’re so socially connected through these networks and we shared personal information with everyonenothing is a surprise anymore because we arty know the past however many years what the hell has kids who is Magis made this second or third time who’s doing what working where has changed her hairstyle or lifestyle
Always up always online.
The social tree of forbidden fruit (Image)